Celebrating Calm
Small things can have BIG impact
Being a parent is undeniably rewarding, but as many of us know, it can also be profoundly challenging.
One of my children has been struggling deeply with overwhelm, in advance of going on an overnight school trip and also changes in her emotions as she grows-up. Worries have been building and building until she feels like she’s ready to explode. It is incredibly hard to witness your child in distress, but we’ve been working through it together, bolstered by the invaluable support of Laura, our Head Kids Confidence Coach.
One tool that has truly transformed things for her is looking for GLIMMERS (those small bursts of everyday joy). By focusing on the "here and now," she is practising leaning into what is good right now, rather than worrying about what might go wrong later.
The Progress We’re Seeing
We are seeing so many positive changes. She is identifying her feelings more clearly and becoming much more open with us. Most importantly, she is happier in herself and has started saying “I’m sorry” after a tough moment—which, for her, is an absolute milestone.
Tools That Are Keeping Us Grounded
If you are navigating a similar season of “big feelings,” these are the tools that are really helping us:
The Power of Co-Regulation: I constantly remind myself that my calm becomes her calm. If I can keep my nervous system steady, it gives her a safe place to land. Mindful breathing really helps me with this—taking just three slow breaths can be the difference between reacting and responding.
Acknowledge Feelings: Instead of trying to shut the feelings down, we validate them. Acknowledging that the feeling is real helps it pass so much faster. It lets her know she isn’t “bad” for having big emotions; she’s just overwhelmed.
Highlight the Moments of Calm (Not the Explosion): It is so easy to focus on the “meltdown,” but its so powerful to shift that focus. When she is playing quietly or we are sharing a snuggle, I help her to recognise that skill and feeling, so that she can remember what calm feels like and know that it is something that she can get in touch with.
Time for You: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Whether it’s a five-minute walk alone, a hot cup of tea, or just stepping into another room to reset, making time for your own regulation isn’t selfish—it’s a parenting essential.
Using “Calm Narratives”
We often spend so much time talking about the “explosions” that the quiet moments go unnoticed. By narrating the calm, we help our children recognise what peace feels like in their own bodies.
Give it a go saying these out loud during the peaceful windows:
“I can see how relaxed your shoulders look right now. It feels really peaceful just sitting here with you.”
“Your breathing is so nice and steady. You look very comfortable.”
“I love how we are both just enjoying this quiet moment together. My heart feels very happy.”
“I noticed how you took a big breath there. It’s amazing how that helps our bodies feel safe.”
Struggling to find the Glimmers?
If you’re currently in the thick of the “explosion” phase and finding it hard to see a way out, you aren’t alone. We’ve put everything we know about navigating these storms into one place.
👉 Join our Meltdown Masterclass here – Let’s find the calm together
👉 Contact us for information about our amazing Kids Confidence Coaches