Helping Our Kids Slow Down in a Fast World
Are your kids struggling when things don’t happen instantly? You aren’t alone.
Let’s be honest: the world nowadays is an incredibly fast place for our kids.
When I think back to my own childhood, it felt like a very different pace. If I wanted to buy something with pocket money I’d saved for months, I had to wait weeks for it to arrive in the post, or wait for a special trip to a specific shop.
Compare that to today. Kids can order something and have it arrive hours later. On top of that, their lifestyles are packed with clubs, activities, and the constant hum of technology. It is just a really busy world out there.
The Rise of Perfectionism
In my kids coaching clinics, I am seeing the result of this speed. More and more children are coming in wanting things to happen immediately for themselves.
They are struggling with perfectionism patterns. If things don’t go right the first time, or if success doesn’t happen straight away, it can really throw them off balance. many kids don’t know how to wait, or how to fail.
How We Can Help Kids Change This Perspective.
When a child is in session with me struggling with resilience or perfectionism, I like to take them back to the very beginning.
I ask them: “When you were little and you learned how to walk, what do you think happened? Do you think you got up one day and just ran across the lounge?”
I normally turn to the parent or grown-up in the session and ask them to tell the story. The parent will look at their child and say something like:
“No! When you were little, you used to crawl around. Then you’d grab onto furniture and pull yourself up. You’d have a go at walking, and you’d fall straight back down. But then you would get back up again and have another go.”
When I ask how many times they fell, the answer is always: “Gosh, so many times. But each time you got back up until you learnt how to walk.”
Resilience Is Inside Us
This is a vital reminder for our kids. That resilience isn’t something they have to buy or learn from scratch; it’s inside them and always has been.
From the beginning, they learned by falling over and not getting it right the first time. This is how humans learn.
What We Parents Can Do
As parents, it is incredibly useful to remind our children that it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay for things not to happen immediately.
But the most powerful thing we can do is model it. We need to show our kids that we take our time with things. They need to see us being kind to ourselves when we make mistakes, and being okay with it when things don’t happen instantly.
Let’s teach them that falling down isn’t the end of the process; it’s just part of learning to walk.