Laces, Lessons, and Letting Go

The power of consistency

If you’ve ever been ten minutes late for school while your child has a “morning meltdown” over their shoes, you’ll know the internal battle.

My daughter, is nearly ten. She was diagnosed early on with a condition called Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome ⭐(more on this later), one of her legs is longer than the other, so she has a raise on one shoe.

Due to her raise she can feel uncomfortable and she loves to have her shoes super tight, which she asks me for help with…

The thing is it has become something that I am just doing for her; because it was easier, faster, and less painful for everyone. But recently I realised in the long run taking over these tricky tasks isn’t helping her to be independent and confident in her own abilities.. it was time for my daughter to reclaim that independence.

So after explaining the plan about the tying of shoes and a few days of big emotions, we had a week of shoe lace tying success; with my daughter just getting on and tying her own shoes (whoop) and then... I slipped.

We were rushing to get out for school and she was tired, so to speed us up, I did her shoes, it felt like a small thing at the time but by this morning, we were back to square one: shouting, tears, and “I can’t do anything!”

The Power of the “Calm Space”

It was so tempting to just lean in, tie the lace, and end the noise so we could get out the door. Instead, I stepped back and kept deep breaths (helping us both to get in a calm space).

When the meltdown had almost passed and the laces were finally tied she was still unhappy that her shoes weren’t tight enough (because she did them herself). I checked and assured her they were just right.

So to help her even more, as we walked slowly to school, we used grounding techniques I share with our clients to help her even more:

• The Sensory Shift: We focused on tiny, neutral details. “What does your left ear feel like?” or “What about your right elbow?” It moves the brain’s focus away from the frustration to focus on something else.

• The Safe Space: We also took a mental trip to “Bunny Land,” (her safe space) visualising a soft and quiet place, until the school gates felt manageable again. We shared a huge hug before I kissed her on the head and watched her happily go in.

This week I’m going to stick to that consistent message and show her that I have full confidence that she can do this herself. I’ll keep you updated!

⭐Raising Awareness: What is BWS?

Part of our journey has been navigating Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome. It’s a rare overgrowth disorder that can affect different parts of the body (like my daughters leg length). I share this not just for context, but for awareness. If you notice asymmetrical growth or an enlarged tongue in your baby, early scanning is vital. You can learn more about the signs here.

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Extra Support for the Journey

If you found yourself swept up in the “morning rush” struggle, know you are not alone. We have lots of ways to help:

• The Monthly Reset: For more stories, nature-based tips, and reflections like this, delivered straight to your inbox. Follow us on Substack

• The Meltdown Masterclass (Online): A deep dive into the exact techniques I used this morning and more —to help you handle high-emotion moments with confidence. [Sign up here]

• 1-to-1 Kids Coaching: For a truly personalised approach, we can work through it together. [Find out more here]

I’ll keep you updated on the shoelace progress!

Comment below with your small parenting successes too - small change can have big impact…